We got so high we made milksteak
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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