New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She needs sedatives and a leash
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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