In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
