So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
