god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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