I wish I could teleport
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
how does that bad decision feel?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
