I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
