He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
