There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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