just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
