ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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