I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
