Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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