i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
