hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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