I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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