I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
