I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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