Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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