I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
