Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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