no. you can't hotbox the world.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
