Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
