am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize