Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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