Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It was confusing and full of hummus
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
