Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
