Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
