It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
