He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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