Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
