so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
