He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
