I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
