Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
