Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
