The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
