Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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