No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
