Screwed.edu
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
