So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
