That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
