Don't you send me to vm
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
