I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
