WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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