Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
