Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this just has baby written all over it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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