Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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