Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
