You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
