Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
