I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
