glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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