so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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